Changes!

I was studying and took a short break. Went to the toilet and rinsed my face with cold water to reduce my tiredness. Then i looked myself in front the mirror and i realized that i look so awful. My face was filled with blackhead especially on my nose, a little bit of pimples, large dark circles under the eyes with horrible eye bag. A little of wrinkles near the edges my eyes. A big forehead with lesser hair. I am having hair loss problem since the day i reached Germany. They told me that this was due to the "hard" water we use daily.

Looking at myself i realized that i didn't care much on my appearance since the day i started my new life in here.

I remembered that i used to wash my face twice a day when i was in Malaysia (morning and evening), but nowadays i just wash it once a day or maybe once every 2 days.
I remember i use to have facial treatment ( with mask) once a month or 2 months once, but i never do that since the day i was in Germany. Even WS who was a typical guy do mask more than me.LOL! i wonder if the world have turn upside down!
I remember each time i went back home, my mum will get me a small glass birdnest every morning(she even woke me up in the middle of sleep to drink it before she went to work), but never for now.
I remember that every time when i was in the study weeks, mum will get me a box of "essence chicken", but not in Germany.
I remember during my revision weeks, i will take care of my meal by taking quality food, but these days fast foods will be my meals.
I remember i used to take supplement foods every morning, but these days, chocolate and junk food replaced them.LOL!
I remember I woke up every morning i used to drink a big glass of plain water, but now coffee and tea will be my new drinks.
I remembered that i use to hate smokers, but now i am one of them.
I remember i used to be shopaholic who shopped a lot, but the last time i went for shopping was nearly 6 months ago. Having limited shirts and pants. Even WS have double of my quantity.LOL!

I wonder if i havechanged that much!

Less than 2 weeks before final 2 exams!

I has been struggling for the last 2 exams of my degree course( excluding the thesis) for the final time i do my revision for my last exam(i hope i will pass all of it). When the exam ended i will start doing my thesis and then balik kampung. I have been longing to go back! BUT before i am going back to Malaysia, there are few places that i must go beside Europe and of course i need $$$$$! hmm... let put aside this thing 1st.

Today will just focus on my on going like. Lately i forced myself to wake up 7am daily. Well it was not an easy task to do because i need to shift time sleeping time and i ended up fell sick twice.LOL! because i can't sleep at night and woke up too early which causes me to fall sick.

Hmm... if you notice, i am writing this blog with really really bad sentences( i know most of the time my blog suck, but this time is even worse).Because i was in rush when i was typing the post. I was out of randomness!

Whole day in the library from 9am-5.30pm(excluding 20 mins out for lunch), productive is not really high, but at least i keep my revision in track. These days, i was in high tension due to 2 examinations on 24th and 26th. Both required you to memorised every since words on the notes plus both will be in Germany language examination! :( with my low level of german, i need to double up my effort compared to others. With my super duper lazy mervin against desperate wanna to study mervin. I wonder who will win! LOL!

we will see how it turn after the examinations. :)

Determination!

Determination! Determination! Determination!

I always fail to keep myself with the books when in come to examination! It's always excuses and distractions when i am suppose to concentrate

and study. The word DETERMINATION seem easy to be uttered out, but i far to be reach! hard to keep myself on track! In in the pace what i have planned.

Examination is coming in no time, yet i wasn't ready. Everyday filled myself with worrisome but lack of enthusiasm to perform my task. :(

I have build up my revision plan, but the execution will be another story. Starting this Monday, i've tried to check myself with sticky note. Yeah, i noticed that it do help, but the progression was just 60%.. 40% of the work will be postponed to the next day. In the end, more and more thing piled up together and i got even more stress or feel like giving up.

Every morning, when i woke up, just before i get out of my bed, i will tell myself "today will be a fine day, i will be happy, and i will finish all my task" But it seem like doesn't work. I recalled that i always convinced my friends never ever give up! But i just realized that not giving up is not sufficient to make my day, i still need D-E-T-E-R-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N!!!

2 habits that i need to cultivate for my whole examination period will be:

No. 1: Clearly identify my missions and proceed to my goals!

No.2: Prioritizing my goals!

We will see how it work! When the exam is over! I will check if those 2 habits are with me or not!

Some how, i feel like praying and ask for favor to the Almighty God in helping me go through this crucial moment. BUT i know, no one can help you, if you can't help yourself.

Just

7 days(23/7) before my German Language examination

18 days(3/8) for my Verfahren examination

39 days(24/8) for my Werkstoff II examination

41 days(26/8) for my Werkzeugmaschine examination

After the examination, i will check this post again, seeing how good i am in keeping my word!

Begin of the War!

Just came back from home after watching the last match of the World Cup, where Spain won over Netherlands by 1-0 during the additional time(110+ minutes). Everything ended! This was the first time in my life watching football matches since the beginning of the World Cup until the very final match. Maybe because of the atmosphere watching football was so different compared to Malaysia. It's really entertaining watching you favorite team winning the game with the supporters shouting, cheering. Especially on public viewing!

It's in the middle of July now. Will be having my first paper next week, German language, followed by Verfahren(process engineering), Werkstoff II and Werkzeugmaschine (machine tool) on 3rd,24th and 26th of August respectively. Which mean, i am starting a war on myself. Taming my mind. Killing my laziness, eliminating my unmotivated thought. Cultivating myself with the virtues i have learnt for the past 20 years. Is my final semester. I don't wish to pick up another semester. I have enough prolonging my degree courses.

Well, it was the 10th month in Germany. Time flies. Struggling to dettach myself from clinging the past. But right now, i must move forward. not to erase all the past, but to carry it with new goal, new inspiration. Overcoming my weakness by utilizing it in beneficial way. hmm.... i would not like to explain what i meant by the "past", because it already the past. xDDD

Summer in Germany isn't as nice as i thought. The hot and dry weather is really killing me. Sweat everyday, even in the room! making me so sticky and unmotivated to do anything. Perhaps, it was just an excuse for myself being lazy. xDBut, it is for sure i will be having lesser time on blogging (though i didn't update my blog about a month).

Hmm... my wish was granted! My thought, my hope has been answered. Mum and Dad finally bought their ticket to Germany this coming September. I can't wait to see them. It has been nearly a year. Though i am not a home boy, but..... i still love them as i always do. :)

Need to stop here now! World cup ended, my laziness end here. Time to fight for myself. Bye bye lazy Mervin!

Here are couple of pictures for June and July.

Taken during the match Germany vs Ghana(June 23,2010)

A day picnic in Essen, Grugapark, and "botaking" Adrian(June 26,2010)

Swimming and riding boat at Wedau,Duisburg (June 27,2010)

Germany vs Argentina(July 3,2010)!

Germany vs Spain (July 8,2010)!

A Wish of A Child from Lower Middle Class Family

I was thinking of calling my parents since last few days, but i could get a chance to do so. Today i finally made a call back home. Telling them my wish, having a vacation with mum and dad in Europe. Well, it sound weird for a guy like me who will be quarter of century old by next year uttering such wish. Maybe because of my background. It might an easy task for some of you, but definitely not for me due to 2 reasons. Firstly, is the family financial status and secondly, dad's personality who always refuse us.LOL!

I was born in a lower middle class family, where both of my parents need to work. Since i was young, i was hardly in my home. When i was a child, i stayed with my paternal grandparents. A family full with rules and restrictions. Where i always been punished for my naughtiness.LOL! When i was 10, my beloved grandma passed away, i moved to my maternal side. By 14 years old (when i was form 2), i has been sent to boarding school in KL. During my high school(form 6), i continued my studies in my hometown,BUT... for the sake of convenience and of course freedom, i stayed most of the time at my grandpa's house instead of my house which is just 10 minutes awayxD. After my examination(STPM), i had my 6 months break, and spent the entire holiday working in Genting Highland. Later, i was offered to UKM to pursue my Mechanical Engineering degree starting July 2010 (by the age of 20) and now ended up in Duisburg-Essen University in Germany.

So, the time i have spent with my family was rather limited. I missed a lot of family trips/outing. You might ask, "if you seldom see them, you should not really close (in term of relationship) with them?" Yeap, i am not very close with my parents, especially when i was a kid. I hardly talk to my dad. As time goes on, i grew up, and every time i went back home, i really feel at HOME. So warm, so relaxing, at peace, and nothing to worry about. I was having fun staying home, having dinner together, watching mum and dad teasing each other, seeing my siblings body language (because the seldom talk).

Since last years, every time i went back, my heart pain seeing my parents. Every time, i see them, i realized that dad and dad getting older, there is more wrinkles on their facse, and more white hairs. But one think never changed, dad still work hard as usual. Running here and there, trying to earn more income for the family. For over 20 years he has been working so hard, and i was hoping that he can taking some break to be here with me in Germany.

So today, i called mum to come over here by end of this year with dad. Mum said that she has no problem coming over, but thetroublesome part wil be dad. And i called dad as well. Well, dad is always busy with his work, so you need a persuading skill when you talk to him. I remembered today when i asked him to come over, he said " Cannot, there is a load of work to do" for the 1st few times. Then i continue to persuade him, then he said " Hmm... we will see how is the arrangement first, but i guess i can't make it" He kept repeating the word " cannot" until i say "Please don't say no or can not when you haven't plan it. If you really want to come, we will figure out the way. But never say NO". Finally he stopped saying the word NO, but he kept saying "We will see how." LOL! Though he didn't say the word "YES" but i am assuming that he that he has agreed. Because it is my wish!

Weekend!

Was out of the city this weekend. Saturday to Rüdesheim and Sunday to Bonn. For the past few days, i was bored of staying in the room. Especially when night reaches. I felt energetic but filled with emptiness. These days i was getting to bed late and woke up late. Thanks to the sun that set about 9.30pm.

For the Satuday trip was awesome. Travelled 3 hours to Rüdesheim, a place that well known for producing wine, Took short tour around the city. Had a german typical lunch in Restaurant. And get some soviniors.The city was rather happened, with a lot of people. The city is covered by hills, where the grapes are planted. The city was also located along the Rhein river, the most popular river of Germany.

By 2pm, we took a tour along the river side from Rüdesheim to Koblenz, 4 hours ship. At the beginning, we were rather excited, taking pictures here and there. Looking at each cities, abandoned castles and forties we passes through. After a few stations, we started to "cool down", no more photographing session. We just sat down, enjoying the sun ray, the greenery, the wind blew through us as well listening to music and chit chatting.

Stopped over at Koblenz for Germany king monument.

The next day(Sunday) went to Bonn, was once the capital of Germany. A small city. Took a some pictures. went to Beethoven birthhouse, paid 4 euro for entry fee, but rather disappointing. And no photo allowed.

On the way home, saw a group for weird people(i guess a family of 6) quarreling to each others. Shouting and scream out loud, until i, the one who fell asleep with earphone on could hear their screams. It was rather funny, when on of them, a fat lady changed her shirt in the train.LOL! People sitting near to me was aslo laughing seeing the "funny " people.LOL!

Summer life!

Right now i am experiencing the 4th cycle of the season-Summer-. I remembered that i was here during Autumn(Oct, Nov) where i started a new life here. Then to Winter(Dec-Feb) where i was so excited for my 1st snow. Followed by colourful Spring(Feb-May) and now sunny Summer.

Things that i dislike during summer:
- the night is too short(no party atmosphere) xD
- too many bugs(flies)
- the weather was too dry and hot.
- my room get dirty will all the cotton flew into my room
- food get spoilt easily

AND

i was happy with summer because:
- i can wear shorts to uni! :)
- more sun exposure (sun light something increases my enthusiasm)
- nice weather for outing(good for sightseeing)
- more energetic
- can say no to jacket ( not applicable during rainy day)
- the city are more happening with nice weather

Well, nothing perfect. You can't get everything you want. But Summer is really a nice season to me. I feel like travelling around the europe in this weather, but..... $$$$$$$!LOL!

ps: summer teaser! that is why people love sunbathing!