Disappointment?

Last night i got my examination result for Verfahrentechnik, it was just 2.7 (Germany system, something like cgpa, best will be 1.0) I was rather disappointed with it. After working hard for this subject and i thought i have done well during the exam, but i never thought it will be just 2.7 ( i was hoping for about 1.7 or better). It was really a shock news for me. Just like the whole world fall apart. As if your hard work didn't pay off. To be frank, i never have such feeling before.

I remember when i was in primary school where we must take UPSR. I was merely know what is the UPSR when i took it. I have never been the top students in my batch or even the class. I was basically ranked about 20-30+ among the students. Well, you can consider me as the top among the averege. Back then i was naughty, never do my homework, always get caned by the teachers, and of course never fail to have fight with my fellow friends.LOL! When the UPSR results was out, the list was pasted on the notice board right in front of the school entrance. Everyone ran to it once the announcement was made about the results. And i was in the top list, i scored straight 5 As for it(i was from SK school, so only 5 subjects taken). Of course i was happy and excited because no one will expect me to get such a results(no even me). Out of joy, there was someone in tears. J who was one of the top students broke down and cried. He scored 4 As and a B. That time i was wondering why must you be so sad because of this. It was just another examination out of numerous examinations. I don't understand what is the feeling of disappointed when your hard work didn't pay off. But i realized that Luck always be on my side.

Because of the good results, my dad enrolled me in to RMC (Royal Military College) where the requirement was at least 4 As and above for UPSR. Before i was enrolled into the college i were required to do some minor test for stamina, perseverance, IQ test where i stayed in the military camp for 1 whole week. Later i got the admission into it, and whole new world awaited for me. To think back, it was a total disaster for the 1st year in there. You got punished whatever fault you did, and you also punished for the fault of your friends. i remembered i woke up daily about 5am and sleep about 12am daily. This resulted me sleeping habit during the class ( i am not going to elaborate in detail about my life there). My results was so poor where ranked 30 out of 100 students in my batch. I begin to pick up my studies during the early of form 3, where i need to take my PMR. Luckily i have a group of good teachers never give up on us. They keep pushing us, train us and guide us till to the day of examination. And with their helps and of course again with Luck, i scored 7 As in the examination (again, RMC is consider a SK type school, so just 7 subject were taken).

Right after the PMR, i tell myself, i will make sure my name will be in the 1st sheet of the paper on the notice board ( every time, the overall examination was pasted on the notice board, and normally top 15-20 will be on the 1st sheet, and i was always in the second sheet). So i make an effort to strike since the beginning of form 4. My hard work paid off. I was ranked number 5 in the 1st half of the year and 8th in the final year. Somehow, i didn't manage to keep my perseverance with me and my studies when down during form 5. But i manage to score 9 As in my SPM (not all A1, with few A2). Well, with this results, i was one of the 6 students who scored all As. Well, it seem like our standard was so low where none of use get straight A1 like other ordinary school,but the reality is the life as a military student ain't a easy thing, more over to score a string of As. Of all 6, everyone get a scholarship some went to oversea, and some went to some prestige colleges and left me back to form 6 life. This time i would not say Luck was on my side. Perhaps you can consider me the worst of the top.LOL!

Ok! Form 6, back to my hometown, my old school. Everything seems like have to restart again, i have to get use of the "normal" school lifestyle after 4 years in "extraordinary" life. LOL! Well, form 6 life was ain't easy especially when your class filled with the cream of the cream. Those who scored 11 A1s, 12 A1s..... and you just straight A but not A1. So that was the life. Instead of biology, i have chosen physics class. One thing you should know about me is i am sucks in Physics since form 4. Instead, i hate that subject. BUT, because i don't want to compete with the top of the top for limited places in Uni for the critical course( eg: doctor,dentistry or pharmacy), so i choosen physics class. In the mind that i have wider scope for engineering scope and lesser stress for my studies in form 6. LOL! Well, form 6 life passes with a lot of memorable stuff, where i had my first gf, where i was addicted to DOTA and play at the cyber cafe up till 3am in the morning during my trial exams with CH. CH was my best friend. I was sitting in the 1st row right in the middle of the class and he was next to me and JY just behind me. The funniest thing was, JY and i always fell asleep in the class and got scolded by our teacher CTH.LOL! Though we played a lot, but i never fail to do our revision, everyday and night (except during dota session). Until the last 2 days before my physics examination, i broke down, i was worry i can't make it for the exam. Of course i took a lot of effort to master the subject, but it just don't get into my brain. I remember that night i went to HS house doing revision with HS and CS and in the middle of revision, the fear surrounded me, i went to the back and cried out, never in my life i was so worry about my studies. But somehow that time i was worry to death. That time H came and he accidently found out that i was being a crybabe. And he comforted me. Well, when the result was out, i got 3 As and a B for my physics. Though i have already expected the result, but............

Ok, a another new chapter of my life when i was enrolled into UKM of a degree in Mechanical engineering. As usual, i had a good result for my 1st semester. Since the beginning of my admission into the uni, i was not in the mood to study as hard as i was anymore. I lost my spirit to strive like what i used to be. Moreover the degree i got was the 3rd last choices out of 8 choices i have selected. For the last 6 semester i led my life in "happy go lucky" lifestyle where i don't care much of my results. Thing happened the same as i reached Germany. I have forgotten my resolution and my target to work hard. And........ So for the second semester, i start to dig out my long buried spirit within me and try to strive for the final time. Though the Verfahren result was rather disappointing, but i still haven't give up because i still have 2 more exams to go. Getting back the "spirit" where you lost for years is ain't easy, more over you can't just have the feel, you must do something to show the result. I hope the Luck that has been accompanying me for year be with me again. :)

ps: too long to check for error mistake.

Changes!

I was studying and took a short break. Went to the toilet and rinsed my face with cold water to reduce my tiredness. Then i looked myself in front the mirror and i realized that i look so awful. My face was filled with blackhead especially on my nose, a little bit of pimples, large dark circles under the eyes with horrible eye bag. A little of wrinkles near the edges my eyes. A big forehead with lesser hair. I am having hair loss problem since the day i reached Germany. They told me that this was due to the "hard" water we use daily.

Looking at myself i realized that i didn't care much on my appearance since the day i started my new life in here.

I remembered that i used to wash my face twice a day when i was in Malaysia (morning and evening), but nowadays i just wash it once a day or maybe once every 2 days.
I remember i use to have facial treatment ( with mask) once a month or 2 months once, but i never do that since the day i was in Germany. Even WS who was a typical guy do mask more than me.LOL! i wonder if the world have turn upside down!
I remember each time i went back home, my mum will get me a small glass birdnest every morning(she even woke me up in the middle of sleep to drink it before she went to work), but never for now.
I remember that every time when i was in the study weeks, mum will get me a box of "essence chicken", but not in Germany.
I remember during my revision weeks, i will take care of my meal by taking quality food, but these days fast foods will be my meals.
I remember i used to take supplement foods every morning, but these days, chocolate and junk food replaced them.LOL!
I remember I woke up every morning i used to drink a big glass of plain water, but now coffee and tea will be my new drinks.
I remembered that i use to hate smokers, but now i am one of them.
I remember i used to be shopaholic who shopped a lot, but the last time i went for shopping was nearly 6 months ago. Having limited shirts and pants. Even WS have double of my quantity.LOL!

I wonder if i havechanged that much!

Less than 2 weeks before final 2 exams!

I has been struggling for the last 2 exams of my degree course( excluding the thesis) for the final time i do my revision for my last exam(i hope i will pass all of it). When the exam ended i will start doing my thesis and then balik kampung. I have been longing to go back! BUT before i am going back to Malaysia, there are few places that i must go beside Europe and of course i need $$$$$! hmm... let put aside this thing 1st.

Today will just focus on my on going like. Lately i forced myself to wake up 7am daily. Well it was not an easy task to do because i need to shift time sleeping time and i ended up fell sick twice.LOL! because i can't sleep at night and woke up too early which causes me to fall sick.

Hmm... if you notice, i am writing this blog with really really bad sentences( i know most of the time my blog suck, but this time is even worse).Because i was in rush when i was typing the post. I was out of randomness!

Whole day in the library from 9am-5.30pm(excluding 20 mins out for lunch), productive is not really high, but at least i keep my revision in track. These days, i was in high tension due to 2 examinations on 24th and 26th. Both required you to memorised every since words on the notes plus both will be in Germany language examination! :( with my low level of german, i need to double up my effort compared to others. With my super duper lazy mervin against desperate wanna to study mervin. I wonder who will win! LOL!

we will see how it turn after the examinations. :)