Inspiration!

I don't know since when i started blogging and who inspired me to do so. But that was few years back story. Perhaps four years ago when i start blogging through my friendster and then shifted to blospot until now.

For these 4 years, most or my highlight moments were updated through the blog. And those to gone through it will know bitz of my life (partially) LOL!

Initially, i thought that my blog just been read by my circle of friends. As time passed, i realized that there were so many people was actually following it. Last few days, i saw my visitor was from Turkey, Malaysia, Germany, UK, US, Brazil, and Singapore, Australia. I wonder who were them. LOL!

Another most surprise thing was, my blog did inspired other to start blogging. Though some of the give up halfway. LOL! But most of them had an impressive blog. LOL! Guess i am happy to see more and more blogger among my pals.

the only problem was, some of these blogs are in Chinese. And i can't read it. LOL!

I remembered some of my friends from electrical and mechanical told me that they actually followed my blog especially during my internship. LOL! And somehow, i did stop blogging for 2-3months and they said" Mervin, why you didn't update your blog for ages? I am you fan" LOL!

Conflict!

I heard that when there is an interaction, there is the conflict! We communicate, we talk, we voice out our thought regardless of verbally or non verbally. The there is different opinion or miscommunication, the conflict rises.

Well, living together with various type of people from different background, different lifestyle isn't a easy thing. Moreover, when there is a gap in term of mindset.

Ok, guess i should stop beating around the bush and straight to the point. Lately, there were more and more conflicts rise between us. Including me myself. Being the frustrated one and the one who been frustrated. A disagreed with B, B dissatisfied with C, C frustrated with E and F, D angry with A, and...... Some of them voiced up and some of kept quite and kept it in themselves.

Everyone kept pointing out their fingers here and there, including me myself. Everyone keen to think they are right. And yet we forget to reflect ourselves. Quick conclusion and sarcasm was the main reason of conflict!

I don't say that i am very good. I admit myself is one of them. Yet, sometime people just think they are always right. Trying to correct others.


Compromising isn't a good think to practice. How long can a people endure the own dissatisfaction? I am sorry to say, as a Buddhist, i failed to practice Buddhism. Guess i have wasted all the effort of fellow incovarians,the committees, and the speakers who tried to enlighten me about delusion.

Relationship between human kind is something too complex for me. Especially when we were expecting something from someone and turn out to be vice-versa.

Just take my relationships as an example. I was so into a person who barely care much about me. While there was someone who so keen to be with me. Plus there were so many confessions toward me and yet, i rejected them. I know the feeling of being ignored by someone who wanted so much. I know it, it just that i am helpless. And when such complication appeared, so do the conflict. (*this is the past. please don't ask)

But, survey from Reader Digest shows that the second most pleasurable thing is companion/friends beside sex. Hmm.... We prefer hanging out with friend rather than being alone. But hanging out with friends created conflict!

The Ugly Truth!

When we looking so something which is so nice, so beautiful, so wonderful and perfect! When we watch a movie. If it was nice we praise it. But just a slight mistake during the filming process might ruined the whole movie. We just want a perfect nice movie without any fumble.

Have you ever think about the process of it? Have ever think how a movie was produced. Have you ever think the hardship each of everyone who involve in the movie?

Guess many of us forget about it until the very moment when we experience it ourselves. I remembered when was doing my internship. Everyone think that i am a quite, innocent guy who just know how to study and stayed in his room and study. But, when they found out that i am out going, having fun, enjoying night life; their perception changed. They think that you are masking yourself. They feel cheated. For all hard work that i did for the past few months was down the drain.

They have forgotten how punctual you are.
They have forgotten how well you handle the given task.
They have forgotten how well you present yourself.
They have forgotten how well you communicate with fellow colleagues.
And they also forgotten how much you have contributed to the company.

In their mind, they think they have been cheated.
They mixed the working life and after work personal life.
They intruded my personal life.
They tarnished my reputation.

Just because of their perception.
They think, they believe that you had tarnish the company reputation.
Judged me guilty for the fault i have not made.
Sentenced guilty without chance to clarify.

Though it has been the past.... and no point looking backward.
But i take it as lesson.
A lesson for a life time.

As they think negative of me just because of slight miscommunication, so do i. Felt frustrated, angry and annoyed with the company. But, when i cooled down, when my mind was composed, and when i met the HR person, i finally understand that nothing perfect. That the corporate world that i am going to face in future.
This is the time i learn. This is the time for me to grow up.

Again.... the audiences only see what on the stage. Not the backstage!

Looking backward!

I has been almost a month, or more precisely 26 days since the day i stepped my foot on Germany, leaving my homeland for the first time. Thing happened, this changed for time to time....
As been preached, i must move on with my life.

Well, making at start isn't a easy step to take moreover when you are alone. Walking through the path that everyone takes which is not the path i wanted to take. But, i had make my choice and i will go through it. As Dr Randy said " The brick wall in front of us is not there for no reason. It shows us how desperate we want something" His words somehow make me understand thing that i used to blame....

Guess i am agree with the word from the film "The Ugly Truth" sometime, the truth is something awful that we rather stay ourselves in illusion. Illusion!

Lately, i tend look back my past... the happy moments i had before.... i know it was past... but it kept appearing on and off in my mind. Well, thing don't last especially the moment you precious most...

I missed my live, my friends, my family and things i left behind.... things that i just found out. I missed the live that i have just build up recently....

My fellow college friends(2006)


Paint Ball in Penang with incovarians (2007)


Penang's Hill(2007)!


Pre Christmas with my German's teachers(2008)

my housemate,farewell before i fly...(2009)

The latter day during Fac Night(2009)!


Jalan Kuchai Lama with 'backstage' friends (2009)


My 'backstage' friends (2009)!

Happy moment in PD for our farewell (2009)


Steamboat with hometown friends 2009!

My dearest coursemates in airport!

Bunch of my very very important 'backstage' friends!

And.... finally, my beloved family!

ps:I was surprise that my comeback(blog) did get a lot of attraction from you guys. Thanks for supporting my blog. With you guys, i will continue blogging as i use to be......

Trip to Koeln

As planned, we went to Koeln city with 2.42pm train. I took around an hours to reach the destination. I was quite a distance from Duisburg.

But, this long distance boring journey turned excitement went i came out from the Haupbahnhof(train station).

Wow! You can see the huge nice Cathedral in front you. I was almost speechless when i first saw the 750 years old huge building just right in front of you. I don't know how i gonna to express my feeling. Guess pictures will explain everything. You can't see such building in Malaysia.

Ok. Let me start for the outside of the building....at the entrance....

First pic taken in front of Haupbahnhof!

a small part of the building!

posing in front of the world heritage building!

some statues crafted on the Cathedral.

Bek and Wee!

the angel killing the baby demon!

imagine how many statues crafted on the building.

hehe! i love this pic!

from left: Wee, Jeffri,me,Jing,Bek

Enoug of posing here outside of the cathedral, we went into the historical building. I was just like i was in the Da Vinci Code or Angle and Demon movies. I feel like i was back to the time in the era of Roman Empire. LOL! and here the picture inside the building.

this was the first sight once i entered the cathedral. Feel familiar? Deja vu!

Well drawn picture!

amazing right?

me again!
posing behind a wall scripture!

statue of deceased......

another area for prayers!

hehe!

wow! i love this pic!

me again with unknown scripture! LOL!

underground of the cathedral!

guess what musical instrument was that?

the motherly love!

feeling of death!

guess who's legs?

do you like it?

can you see what hanging on top there?

on't ask me what was that, coz i don't even know what is it. LOL!
another angle of the cathedral!

Kid lighting up the candle!

We were suppose to get up of the cathedral which cost just 2 euro per person (for student), but i was close by 5pm and that time was already 4.50pm, so..... we just took few pictures outside of the cathedral.

some strangers performed in the middle of the city. LOL!

One of the performer. hehe...

ruins!

The description of the ruins with Jeffri reflection.

In the tunnel!

Really amazing right?

Moment of truth!

A smile of content!

I remember Jeffri said before we went into the cathedral, " Very beautiful right? In side the cathedral even more amazing, you even can feel the holiness it. As if you are engulf by it." At the time i didn't believe it until the moment i stepped into the building and i agreed with him. LOL!

I visit this place again in another time.... soon.....

ps: will be blog about Duisburg and Essen soon.....

My latest room layout!

Here is my room latest layout with night scene. LOL!

From the entrance of my room!

My study table and my bed!

View from the left side of my room with 2 new lamp table and a new mini bolster!

What do you think about this lamp?

Another picture with my shelf. Need a carpet for the floor. Winter is coming soon!

Angle taken from the bed!

Messy room with jeans everywhere. LOL!

A chair near the door for wearing socks and shoe. Shows my laziness!

Need few items to fully furnished my simple little room. Guess i need to make another new check list for that.

The comeback after few unsucessful attempt

Hmm... i guess it has been very very long time i didn't update my blog since an awful incident happened on me where i was 'fired' due to my blog. A few attempts have been made to revive my blog, but due to my business and lost of the interest on blogging.

A lot of incidents happened between that duration from the moment i has been fired and then went to new company to complete my internships. Later i finished my internship program and went for 3 weeks technical language course, the very last day in Malaysia and now settling down my life in Germany.

No doubt that i had a great time, experiences,and friends during the internship period. Though there were complication happened in between that duration, but i did cherish every moment i had during the latter day. I had built a new life which belong to me, i had met friends who were in common with me, so to someone which so important to me. Unfortunately, happy moment never last.

Now, back to zero. Back to the original point. I have to restart everything again. This time, it was different that the usual situation in Malaysia. In Germany, language is the barrier for me to reach out the others. I remembered that when i was in Malaysia, i could easily mix with anyone regardless of gender, status, race, preference...... Just one reason, I can communicate. But....

Okey, enough of complaining. this blog i am gonna to show you guys my room where i tried to make it better and better. And still in progress.

My study table with the inclined windows because i stayed in the roof floor.



My windows side. Bought 2 pot of flowers to make my room more colorful.

My bed with super thick comforter. Preparing for winter. LOL!

My shelf full with my stuff!

The sofa was taken from Xiao Mai's apartment. It was not really clean, so i bought a big cloth and cover it up and.... Tada! nice sofa.

*ps: this picture taken last week. Latest picture of my room layout with be shown once i have taken the picture.
Later i will show you guys my lamp tables, lamps, cupboard and ect.
Guess that all for this blog. Will continue updating my blog soon.