I am scared, worried, nervous!

I am worried since dinner time, when i was told by Chee Seong that next week is the due date for the submission of the internship letter. But until now, i get nothing, what i can do is just a blind wait. Hopelessly wait.I know right now is already 1.45am, yet i won't be sleeping soon as there are a lot of stuff awaited for me to do. Too much tasks, lab reports, homework,revision for next week Fluid Mechanics exam, the Integrated Project tasks, FEBLAB software to be learn for the project, my German classes, the application stuff, and last but not least, the INTERNSHIP

I remembered last year, July 24, 2008 where i received an e-mail from my scholarship's company,YSD.
The content stated that i was compulsory to do my practical training under SD. Thus, i replied them on August 14.

September, where we had our first meeting for the internship organised by my faculty. Everyone started looking for the a position even the application only will start during September. That time i was not in worried as i know i will be given a place for my intership by my sholarship's company.

On the middle of October, my university organised a career fair. There i met Ms Shuhada, the one that in-charge of the SD's booth during the fair. I asked her about about the details regarding internship as a YSD's scholar and she told me to e-mail the person in-charge of my scholarship and cc to her the e-mail. Well, i did e-mailed again my resume and my internship details to YSD and i was replied that my application will be process and my status of application will be advise once i received a placement for it.

On the middle of November, just a day before my final paper, i applied for a internship post using Jobstreet, and i was called for the interview in Petaling Jaya. I went all the way to PJ for the interview and i was successful for the application. Then, i was requested to get the confirmation letter for the post. I consulted with my friend who work at HR department. He suggested me not to take up the letter as it required me to sign the confirmation letter as i been told by YSD that i need to do my practical training under SD. Therefore, i didn't take up the letter.The company was Tien Wah Group Bhd.

I waited patiently for the reply from YSD. From time to time, i actually wanted to call the YSD for clarification, yet i scared if i will bothered them as i already sent the second e-mail, as well several calls.

On January 10,2009, i sent my 3rd e-mail to YSD as i been told that my resume has been misplaced and i was required to send again my resume. No choice, i just did what i has been told to do. That's the only thing i can do. There is no place for me to fuss out, there is no place for me to complain. And i don't really want to confront anyone. I don't want to blame anyone, I just wanna to get a position for my internship. YET.......

For the following week, i made another call to YSD to get myself updated for my internship status. And i got the same reply, your application is still in process....... I am helpless. There is nothing i can do.

After the Scholar Development Programme, i knew that Ms Intan will be in-charging on the internship programme. Therefore, on February 9, again i sent my internship detail to her.

I did call her, twice within a week regarding my internship, yet i still didn't get any positive answer from her. Still pending......

Today, after been told that by next week will be the closing date for my internship application. Those who failed for the application will have to extend. Crush!!!!! I was so shock, so worried, my head was swinging. Luckily i still manage to cover up my feeling. Today was the birthday celebration for 4 of my friends. I didn't want to spoil the atmosphere. All i can do was just acting, and showed them the everything is normal.

Right now, i was so nervous, so scared, so ........ I do really need someone beside me right now to comfort me, to share my worries.
But, when i looked around, there is no one there........