Attached!

Yes, i am attached!
Attached!
Though it seem unreachable!
The gap is always there!
But i already fall in love!
It's so perfect!
It's so natural!
It's so adorable!
It's so tempting!
I am obsessed on it!
Day dream, night dream...
Yet still far away from me.
But i really really in love.
Not the ordinary one, but the special one,
illuminating a special effect, effect that lure me into it.
Perhaps this is what we call LOVE!

Nothing is easy,
Even one day i able the gain the love one,
but...
i still need to learn
how to love the one,
how to make the one stay,
how to satisfy my obsession.

But unfortunately,
i am so incapable to reach my love one...
Not now, but i wish one day i will obtain my love...
With the hope, that the time is not too late...
Love is suffering, yet love is wholesome!

When the first time saw the lovely one,
i know i already in love,
love that always keep inside my heart bloom up,
It's so beautiful, yet so far...

* this not a poem,nor a story. But my true feeling!
To whom? it doesn't matter!
Perhaps, it's not the whom that matter,I am the one who that matter.

Money!

You need something,Then you need money!
Cantonese saying "yau chin mhe hai tai sai", but if "mou lui, zhao sei lou"
Haha... Is true, money is not everything, but without money your are nothing.
Is money so important? Well,... i don't really know, but generally, almost everyone attached to the desire to seek for money. "Money not enough" from the singaporean movies.True enough, everyone need money!
Money oh money...come money..come come money... money money come!!! that what people wish.
Money! i need you!
There are a lot of thing which i need, BUT with the assist of MONEY!!!
1) I need money to eat
2) I need money for my family income
3) I need money to study in Germany
4) I need money to pay rental
5) I need money to buy books
6) I need money to buy cloth
7) I need money for traveling
8) I need money to buy camera****
9) I need money to give donation
10) I need money to help the poor one
11) I need money to survive
12) I need money to satisfy my need
13) I need money to buy present for.....
14) I need money to buy contact lens + solution
15) I need money to pay utilities bill
16) I need money fulfill my dream....
.......
.......
.......
I need money for this and that....

Well, it seem so important,but there is no short cut, there is always a sacrifices to be made. Till the end, i have to make my own choice.
Nothing perfect.

Life goes On!

Running nowhere!
Facing the reality of life!

Are you really a Malaysian?

Being friendly regardless of races has been the motto or even the objective of the government, but for the past 50 years, is that objective achieved? I would say it NO, or perhaps worsen.

With the background as a student i a well-known boarding school.Living as a minority, in a multi-racial community,give me a different opinion than others.
It has been years since i left the school, though these multi-racial stuff been promoted everywhere even in the UKM itself, but the problem is, that jerk not really doing their duty, they promoting this stuff for the sake of power, name,....that mean the intention is wrong, with wrong intention, for sure this goal can't be achieved even after another 50 years. Impossible.

Even the above achieved, but if the mentality of the Malaysian did not change, the result will still the same. Coz there is the "perception" among races. There Chinese always think that they were not treated fairly, even think that the others races should not deserved special right. While Malay will think that non-Malay is trying to overtake their right. Indian will think that they always been abandon.
With such perception been carried for generation, to generation, the hatred and fear of other races continue, even getting worse until the present

For me, if we can throw away such perception, one day, and that day, we can truly define ourselves as the genuine Malaysian. Till the day, there are still a long journey to go. The way to reach the goal won't be easy. Only those with strong will able to achieve it. But do all Malaysian have such goal in their mind? I don't know.
But, i can tell you with my very own experiences, it's very hard.
Even if you try to be friendly, open, but sometime, because of some jerk, you effort just ruin.
But i believe the day there will be no more Chinese, Malay,Indian but only Malaysian will come.The day that every one live in peace without bias, without hatred.Perhaps one day, might not be now, might not be in this 10 years or might not even in my life time, but i sure that day will come. It's matter of time. Whether it's fast or slow, depend to how fast Malaysian mentality can change.






ps: this blog was written to support my friend Foo Cheong as a Malaysian with the spirit of Malaysian.

adult, part 2!?

I am headache again, no denial that i am weak. Got sick easily. For the solution!! Take this!

I know, taking this kind of medicine will give the side effect. But no choice, especially when i am in hurry, it will naturally "visit" me. maybe because of my bad habit.
k. let me continue my blog for the second part.
Recently i read an blog, a blog written by someone much younger than me, probably 4 or 5 years. Reading the blog, making me to flash back my youth time, though it's kinda different, but everything seem much simpler than now. When i was youth, i always wish i can grew up faster, but now, the other way round. I hope the time stop(is that possible?of course not).
For me living in a world where everyone wearing masks on their face, so do i. You got no choice. Sometime, you even have to wear the mask even, you are already wearing one of it. LOL! but that's the fact. At this age, you must beware every single thing you do, even every single thing you type(i even thinking every single word that i am typing now.LOL)That's the reality. Even your are right, but if the majority,or "commander" don't feel so, then you are wrong!
Sometime, when you trying hard for something,for sure, there will be something that against your effort.

The Day

Before starting story of the day,
last night, i had a bad dream, dreamt that been scold by lecturer during presentation. haigh... bad instinct.

Today, day for integrated project presentation. woke up as early as 6am(supposedly by 5am) Keep revising, and reading all the details of the report. Gosh, that's a lot to be memorized,and more to explain.... ready up myself, reached faculty by 8am. finalize all the presentation.

By 8.50am, we went to the meeting room, waiting for the lecturers to arrive. Our presentation start by 9.15am, 15 minutes late from the actual time.Why?Not our fault.
The worst thing was even before the presentation, we have been "attacked" for the sake of the university name. Instead of "National University of Malaysia", it must be in "Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia" What? Because they told us that," it's a big offense to change the name of the university. Huh? In fact, there was stated in the official website, even in my matrix card of that words. In didn't argue anything, just keep quite. They later told us that "National University of Malaysia" just nick name of the UKM. and cannot been use. Later, Our front cover of the is circled, and been told, "potong markah" what? They even ask who the one who write the cover, shit, somehow is me.
From that moment, i know that's just beginning, the worst still awaiting us. And true enough, during Q&A session, haigh.... speechless, horrible, terrible, vegetable. Kena kaw kaw.
Everything sucks from the beginning till the end. But can't be denial that today i do learned something. That's what my group member, Chun Ta said. I don't denial that, but somehow, that incident stuff still running in my mind throughout the day.

Finally, now, i'am cooled down. Flashing back what happened today. It's already the past. But now agree with Chun Ta that we actually learnt something today.

1) Learnt to be mindful every single words that came out from our mouth. Make sure you got strong reasoning with evidence for every statement made.
2) I learnt to be mindful every single thing you have written. Make sure it's logical, no mistake, every notation used must be according to engineering standardization.
3) Learnt to make more preparation even you are ready, practice make perfect.
4) Learnt to analyse, being attacked was a horrible stuff, take it positive, learnt from criticism, take out the what can be learnt.
5) Learnt to be a good employee. Be prepare to be "shoot", scold, obey, and let go.
6) Understand that you be always wrong if you not capable enough. Now i really understand the meaning "koung yan kong ye mou yan theng", "poor people say thing no people listen" Cantonese." Unless you are strong enough.
7) Perfectism make you perfect.

Though everything turned out to be suck, but who care, i LEARNT something today. Something precious. Thank you!

Oh ya, suddenly i found out my form 3 photos. Kinda missing them!



1st row(from left):Mervin,Amri(Cheekoi),Khairy(Abe), Cikgu Azman(squad teacher),Ashraf(Ash), Chairol(Chai),Abu
2nd row(from left): Hafifi(Kep), Murali, Arif(Penyu), Fatah, Nureikmar(Gebang),Shah(Bai), Firdaus(Kuda),Rashid.
Guess when we gonna meet again.

adult, part 1!?

I am 22 this year, going to be 23 soon by next year. The year of 2008 is going to end soon. Life of a 22 years being. Wow, an adult. How will it suppose to be? how many extra-ordinary experiences that you have experienced?

Recently, I bump into a long lost friend of mine. Not even in contact since we work at genting. Sometime, I even wish I will bump into her, and it really happened after 2 years, but just a few minutes. What surprised me is that she was with her husband and her baby. Wow, already with a child. At the moment we met, she do introduce me her family but unfortunately I didn’t really manage to see the cute baby. Meeting her just got me flash back the past, the happy moment in genting. But, that’s the past.

Just while I am surfing net, updating myself to my friends in Friendster. Again, I see pictures of babies, gosh…. Again someone with children. Since form 6 till now, friends of mine, one by 1, building their family one by one.

Guess, that’s human norm. And they seem happy, happy families. Will I be them? Yeah, I wish to. But not now. Maybe someday. Or perhaps never. Living on this very earth for 22 years, but there still a lot of things I haven’t done yet. My ambition, my goal! Only me myself can fulfill my own wish! Till then, nothing is more important than it.

I am Back!!!

Holidays going to end, the unsolved problem still piling up. Haigh… really wish that I will have a endless holidays. But…. face the reality of life. Basically I went back to hometown around a week. Nothing special happened, I but really love the life in my own sweet home. With my parents, siblings, everyone in it. Crapping, quarreling, caring, helping, and sharing. That’s what a family meant to me.

Now I am back, back to the ‘home alone’ place. Lol….Though we actually consist of 9 people. But, sometime, meaningless, each of everyone live in their very own life. So, do I. isolated in myself in my very own room. Doing nothing productive. Everyone is striving, but not me. The only one that going nowhere, doing nothing, sitting back I room, watching series movies, playing game, and surfing the net. With my back carrying a lot of undone work. “It’s the time to start”, that’s what I tell myself. But ended up at the origin point.

Recently my mum often asked me something out of my surprise, perhaps she keep herself updated by reading my blog. Coz, I hardly tell my parents about my personal stuffs.

Hopefully, I can go through this very last month of the semester, the very last months before starting a brand new year.